what would life be like if i were high maintenance?
At first, it was all about nothingness. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and do nothing. The mere thought of leaving my room was like a 100-pound weight bearing down on me that I had to remove before I could even envision leaving. But lying in bed led to thinking, and thinking just made it worse. So then it became all about being busy. Filling every second of the day with something, anything. Anything so I wouldn’t be forced to be alone with my thoughts. I fill my day with things that I know I cared about before, but right now, I don’t care about them, Maybe because I don’t care about anything anymore.
I wonder if there’s a relationship between the ability of people to tolerate children throwing tantrums vs. their behavior as a child.
I’m postulating that children who rarely misbehaved in public grow up to have a lower tolerance for annoying brats who scream incessantly.
To disappoint others is upsetting, but to disappoint yourself is debilitating.